Homework4 calvin

Specific Purpose (P.68)

1.      I would like to inform you of the outdated items in the warehouse, how it happened, how can we dispose them off efficiently and how can we avoid such problems in the future.

2.      I would like to let you know of a three-month outstanding payment that might have slipped your attention and we hope it can be cleared soon to ensure a steadfast relationship between us.

3.      I would like to inquire about an overdue shipment of several parts, (Invoice no.521069) which I placed four months back on June 16^th, 2007.

 

Exploring the Web on Your Own (www.businesswritingtips.com)

The "You view" concept in writing is to engage the reader to the writing; hence, the writing should always be focused on the reader, their perspectives and needs. Here are tips from www.businesswritingtips.com which I feel should be kept in mind:

1.      Make your writing user-friendly. Using bullets, numbering and short paragraphs to group information makes it easy for the reader to grasp the main points.

2.      Make your reader feel engaged. For example, don't write "Our sales seminar will cover three important tools for contacting customers." Instead, engage your reader with "In this sales seminar, you'll gain four important techniques that will help you to successfully contact customers."

3.      Avoid words that put your reader on the defensive such as, "you claim, you allege, you neglected, I insist, I cannot permit, I cannot believe" etc, as they are words that can immediately ignite disagreement and hostility.

4.      Select the correct tone of your correspondence by changing the "person." For example, if you want to sound authoritative, use the first person; if you want to sound familiar to your reader, use the second person. If you want to sound objective, use the third person.

Example:

            Authoritative: We are implementing this new change in policy.

            Familiar: You have asked us about this new policy change.

            Objective: Management has decided to implement a new change in policy.

5.      Be specific and use terms your reader can picture such as active or power verbs, or you may lose your reader's attention. Example, instead of saying, "Adverse weather conditions will not result in structural degradation," a simpler, "The roof won't leak if it rains," gives a much clearer picture.

6.      Avoid he/she to represent the universal person as people are increasingly becoming sexism conscious. (See footnote for "how to avoid he/she syndrome")

7.      Recommend actions rather than refer to individual mental states as it may sound presumptive and authoritative on your part. For example, use: "We recommend", "We suggest" instead of, "We believe you should", or "We think", or "We imagine", etc.

In all, simple tips like these that focus on the reader can eventually make our writing more effective and serve our purpose of writing.

 

Note:

Suggestions for avoiding the he/she syndrome by Professor Ellene S. Phufas: 

(Also from www.businesswritingtips.com)

1.      Delete the pronoun reference altogether, e.g., "Every manager should read the memoranda as soon as they are delivered to him [delete to him] by a mail clerk."

2.      Change the pronoun to an article, such as 'a' or 'the'. E.g.: "An author may adopt any of the following dictionaries in preparing his [a] manuscript."

3.      Pluralize, so that 'he' becomes 'they'. E.g.: "A student should avoid engaging in any activities that might bring discredit to his school."

(Rewrite: Students should avoid engaging in any activities that might bring discredit to their school.)

4.      Use the relative pronoun 'who', especially when the generic 'he' follows an 'if'. E.g.: "If a student cannot use standard English, he cannot be expected to master the nuances of the literature assigned in this course."

(Rewrite: A student who cannot use standard English cannot be expected to master the nuances of the literature assigned in this course.)

5.      Repeat the noun instead of using a pronoun, especially when the two are separated by several words. E.g.: "When considering a manuscript for publication, the editor should evaluate the suitability of both the subject matter and the writing style. In particular, he [rewrite 'the editor']...."

 

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