homework4

homework4 49482005 高淑真

Specific Goal

1. I want to inform the precise lists and the original prices of those outdated items in the warehouse. Besides, I would suggest my boss to sell them in an inexpensive price to earn some at least. Moreover, these discounts may attract customers and they may consume other products in the store, too. In the end, we should avoid stocking too much goods happening again.

3. I want to ask my customer to pay off in a week or we will meet each other in the court. Since in these three months, this is not my first time to ask the person to pay, he or she should understand the result of violation. If the person has any problems, he or she could communicate with me before. Now it is the last straw.

5. I want to inform the supplier that I did not receive shipment and check what the problem is. Besides, we can discuss what we can do to avoid the problem next time.

Exploring the Web on Your Own

"You" view is the same with audience-oriented. When we are writing, we should stand in audience's shoes. Sometimes we will think we have achieved a great job, but sometimes it is not what we really think while everyone thinks differently. The following are three examples of "you" view.

The first one is "Do not use sexist language in business writing." It is hard to change the original usage such as chairman, fireman and so on, but when the person is a female, sometimes it is not so polite. Be careful about these details.

The second one is "Keep your sentences short and simple." If I am a reader, I would not like to read long and complex sentences. Beside, it would be comfortable to read simple vocabulary and sentence structure.

The third one is that "Make your writing reader-friendly. The explanation of the tip is quite interesting: Business people are busy; use a lot of white spaces and so on. All in all, "you" point focuses on readers, not writer at all. So, making the writing more thoughtful can make a more comfortable article.
uld communicate with me before. Now it is the last straw.

5. I want to inform the supplier that I did not receive shipment and check what the problem is. Besides, we can discuss what we can do to avoid the problem next time.

Exploring the Web on Your Own

"You" view is the same with audience-oriented. When we are writing, we should stand in audience's shoes. Sometimes we will think we have achieved a great job, but sometimes it is not what we really think while everyone thinks differently. The following are three examples of "you" view.

The first one is "Do not use sexist language in business writing." It is hard to change the original usage such as chairman, fireman and so on, but when the person is a female, sometimes it is not so polite. Be careful about these details.

The second one is "Keep your sentences short and simple." If I am a reader, I would not like to read long and complex sentences. Beside, it would be comfortable to read simple vocabulary and sentence structure.

The third one is that "Make your writing reader-friendly. The explanation of the tip is quite interesting: Business people are busy; use a lot of white spaces and so on. All in all, "you" point focuses on readers, not writer at all. So, making the writing more thoughtful can make a more comfortable article.

Homework4 Tara

Specific purpose

2. A blog posting (on your external website) to customers and the news media about your company's plans to acquire a competitor:

I want people who visiting my blog to complete with my company. One of the reasons is that I am very confident of my product and customers who know our posting may increase their confidence and interest of the product. Besides, our product can be improved and revised much better than before because the stimulus of other competitors.

4. An e-mail message to employees about the office's high water bills:

The specific purpose of the message is to let every employee to pay attention to the high water bills. It also makes them beware of economizing on water, or the company will plan some rules to solve the problems.

6. A podcast to new users of the company's online content management system:

The specific purpose of the movement is to let every new user know that they can share any ideas or suggestions to the company's online content management system. The company supposes that some new users are too backward or hesitated to share their ideas directly to the company. They hope the online content management system can not only fulfill the new users' needs and but also increase the closer relationship between new users and company.

Exploring the Web on Your Own

1. After browsing the website, I think the website is useful and highly related to our course. There update business tips weekly and help viewers solve their problems. In fact, I think "you" view means the writer should write the message in reader's view, conveying the message even directly. Thus, I think one of the three tips for "you" view is to know the correct usage of words before you use them. Most mistakes second language learners make are like translating context or their ideas word by word. Some words they choose hardly use in daily life, so we have to make sure the right and specific usage of each word. For instance, which is correct, "like most" or "most like"? The answer is the later one because the adverb" most" should follow the verb it modifies. We should say "what project would you like most" instead of "what project would you most like".

2. The second tip is about using simple and familiar words. Business writing means you may write to anyone whose primary language is not the same with you. Therefore, we should avoid using sophisticated and rare words, because it probably will confuse the reader. For example. we should replace " This message is obscure" with "this message is not clear enough".

3. The third tip is how to make your writing more concrete. We should think over what is you main purpose and stick to it. The business writing should be clear, simple and straightforward. If your issue is ambiguous, it makes confuse your reader and decrease your interaction. Many disputes in the contract results from ambiguities.

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Homework 4 from Sandra

Homework 4 49482012 Sandra

Specific Purpose

2. I want to catch everyone's eyes by posting the company's plan on the blog. Showing the company's plan to the public means that my company is professional, confident, and well-prepared, so my company is not afraid of competitors. On the contrary, my company welcomes the challenge of competition and it will make customers and news media have interest in us. My company can promote our products and make more people know us.

4. I want my employees to understand that they have consumed too much water. The waste of water will not only increase higher water bills, but also waste resource on Earth. The company is trying to solve this problem. I decide to add water-saving equipments on all of the spigots and toilets at every washroom. Besides, the employees are encouraged to giving advices of saving more water.

6. I want those new users to know how to use our online content management system properly and correctly. In addition, I want to introduce the advantage of the online content management system to customers. The customers will trust that our company is the best among the other competitors with similar products.

www.businesswritingtips.com

"You" view means that writers should be in readers' points of view when organizing letters or messages. The following are three business writing tips which I think that they are important. The first tip is to eliminate unclear jargon or buzzwords from your sentences. A sentence with too many unclear words will confuse the reader and produce misunderstanding. Sometimes you should write letters to your foreign customers, and some of your customers are not familiar with the business. If there are some jargons in your letters, they would probably mistake you real meaning. The second tip is similar with the first one. Practice being specific and use terms your readers can picture when you are describing someone or something. You should avoid using vague copy so that the readers can immediately picture the image or scene in their mind. .For example, you can't just say the dress you sold is red and small. You have to give the details to your customers, such as the length of the dress and the shade of the color. The last one is to make your writing reader-friendly. To make your document easy on the eye can save much time for your customers. Use lots of white space, bullets, and short paragraphs to chunk information. If you must write a long proposal or report, use headings to break the text into meaningful segments. You should arrange the page layout properly, and leave some margins. In addition, always remind of the grammar errors. These tips can make the reading easier. All in all, "you" view is to always focus on your readers. Remember to reread and revise your writing all the time.

Homework4 Hayden

Specific Purpose
1. I want to inform you about outdated items in the warehouse. I will hold a closeout to dispose of all remaining stock and I can have adequate space for new items. Most of all, our company can reduce losses. I also need to discuss how to avoid such situation in the future with you.

3. I want to notify you accumulate three-months payment. Can you
check out your bills or receipt? Maybe it is my mistake. If you have any problems, please tell me as soon as possible. I hope this incident will not influence our relationship.

5. I want to understand why my shipment does not arrive on time. I will let the shipping company know those goods are important and I hire the company because I trust its professionalism. The company should be responsible for me.

Exploring the Web on Your Own
After browsing this website, I think it is really helpful. I find three explanation of " you " view in the website. Firstly, you should choose clear, familiar words. Using simple and short words can let your readers easily understand what you talk about. For example, you should replace "I reiterate what he said." with " I repeat what he said." Secondly, when writing copy, always focus on the reader. For example, don't write "Our cooking class will cover three important tools for roasting chickens." Instead, focus on your readers with "In this cooking class, you will gain three important techniques that will help you to successfully roast chickens." Lastly, Your choice and arrangement of words are ways to emphasize your ideas. By using such words and phrases as "especially, particularly, most importantly, and above all" can tell readers that what follows is important. Punctuation marks also add emphasis to your writing. For example, "The employees were surprised by the decision: no change in company policy." is better than "The employees were surprised by the decision, which was not to change the company policy."

49482039 Traci: Homework 4

Specific Purpose p.68

1. After giving my manager the number and names of the
outdated items, my boss should give me clear instructions of
how to dispose them.
3. My purpose is to notify those customers of their
three-month delay, the amount of payment, its deadline,
paying procedure and the later legal action if otherwise.
5. I call to inform my supplier about the overdue shipment,
also providing my payment information, the scheduled arrival
date, and compensation for the delay.

Exploring the Web on Your Own p.71

Positive expressions not only arouse readers' attention,
reduce their frustration, it also helps avoid readers'
defense against the content. When we need to convey a
negative message, as it is often the case with business,
soften its effects by emphasizing the positive side. When a
project ends in complete failure, we can start the
assessment report by offering a compensating action instead
of an apology or explanation. "Accenting the positive" is a
brilliant tip that helps us see things in a new light.
Subjunctive tense of verb is the "wishful thinking" verb. It
always uses the verbs "were" and "would." If we are sending
a final notice to a client who has delayed the payment, it
should sound more positive to say "If the payment were
delivered within the next three days, it would be our honor
to continue the business relationship." than "If you don't
deliver the payment within the next three days, our business
relationship is in danger."
Malcom Forbes, former Editor-in-Chief of Forbes Magazine,
believes that a positive attitude is among the five tips of
a good business letter. Negative thoughts and tone provoke
reader defense. Avoid accusation such as, you claim, you
believe, you think, etc. and be modest toward critiques and
constructive comments. Even if there is a disagreement,
start by a positive opening, appreciating the advice and
explain ourselves in a constructive tone: "Thank you for the
question regarding our price. However, the market survey has
shown that our price is often competitively with, sometimes
below the market price. We appreciate the attention and
would love to hear from you again."

Homework4 Jessica

Homework 4 49482013黃慧嵐

Specific Purpose

1. I want to inform my boss there are outdated items in the warehouse, what should I do with them? Also, I would like to know is it normal for the store to have outdated items or is it a potential crisis for the store. What can we do to avoid this situation next time?

3. I want to inform my customer he (or she) hasn't made a payment for three months. Does he (or she) forgot to pay or does he (or she) have trouble with money? Maybe we can find out a way to solve this problem together.

5. I want to let the supplier knows that I've bought some parts from overseas, and I should have received it few days before. However, because of the overdue shipment I got nothing and it really bothered me.

Exploring the Web on Your Own

1. The first tip for "you" view is "Choose clear, familiar words." Use simple words to express your ideas. It can make your readers easy to understand your content. I think this is a main mistake which we Taiwanese students often make. We tend to think in Chinese and then translate it into English. We try to find equivalent words but we do not know that some of these words are rarely used in English. We can not assume that everyone know the word we use. So the best way to prevent this problem is to use clear and familiar words. For example we can use "make worse" rather than "exacerbate."

2. The second tip for "you" view is "Use personal pronouns." It says that we should use more personal pronouns such as "we, us, you, our, yours" in our writings. These words allow us to "speak" directly to our reader and they help us avoid abstractions. They can also shorten our sentences. Besides, using these words can make our readers think we are actually communicating with them. There are interactions between writers and readers. For example, "Our company offers every customer a 20 percent discount." sounds more friendly then "The xxx company offers every customer a 20 percent discount."

3. The third tip for "you" view is "Avoid sexist language in business writing." We tend to use "he" in our writings, but we should think about our female readers' feeling. Use words that do not have sexist meanings in it such as flight attendant rather than stewardess. It is better to write both "he and she" when you are talking about someone you don't really know his (or her) sex.

Homework4 Otto

Specific Purpose

1. A report to your boss, the store manager, about the outdated items in the warehouse

My purpose of writing this repost is to persuade my boss to deal with these outdated items. I will tell him the longer we take to sell the outdated inventories, the lesser the chances of selling them in the future. Because we cannot Therefore, maybe we should hold a discount sale on these goods as soon as possible.

3. A letter to a customer who hasn't made a payment for three months

My purpose of writing this letter is to urge the customer that we are going to take legal procedures if payment is not made before the deadline. However, I shall let the customer know that if there is any difficulty, we can allow a late payment.

5. A phone call to a supplier checking on an overdue parts shipment

My purpose of making this phone call is to know when my overdue shipment will arrive. I will reiterate that these goods are very important for me and any overdue could make big trouble. At the same time, I have to let the shipping company realize I am confident with its professionalism and I will really appreciate it.

Exploring the Web on Your Own

www.businesswritingtips.com

1. Explanations of "you" attitude ("you" view)

"You" attitude is not merely using the "you" pronoun, but also the authors should think empathetically in other's shoe. By using "you" view when writing, the authors just have to adopt a "you" attitude by thinking in terms of the audience's wishes, interests, hopes, and preferences; that way, their messages can be expressed to the readers and make their audience interested without being awkward or manipulative.

2. Three examples of "you" view

This website is really useful and I have learned from it. It offers almost 500 tips and even more exercises to help us how to write business articles specifically and precisely. With these tips, we may easily reduce the frequency of making mistakes. Thanks to its clear index and convenient search bar, it is easy to find some tips about "you" view topic. Some of them are:

Tip 1: Choose clear, familiar words.
Tip 44: Practice being specific and use terms your reader can picture.

Tip 45: Do not use sexist language in business writing.

Tip 46: When writing copy, always focus on the reader.

Tip 178: Except for diaries, most writing is intended for one or more readers.

Tip 221: Avoid words that put your readers on the defensive.

Tip 333: Make it easy for your email reader to respond with a "yes/no" answer.

Among these tips above, I think tip 46 and 178 show the main idea of writing: focusing on the readers; the others are ways intended for reaching the goal. When writing diaries or journals, it is not necessary to consider who my readers are, but except that, I should be reader-centered, like tip 178 teaches. What is my reader's background? Is my diction appropriate? Have I presented ideas that will serve my readers' needs as much as mine? Then, we should use clear and familiar words and practice being specific in order not to mislead my audience, which tips 1 and 44 say. Avoiding sexist language like policeman or postman to avoid offending my audience is also an important tip to reach the goal of the "you" view.

Homework 4 Brian

Homework 4

Specific Purpose
1. I need to make the manager understand the situation
and ask for the solution to dispose of them as soon as
possible. Otherwise, we won't have enough space for
the new comings. I will make some suggestions for the
manager to think about like holding a big sale that
sells the outdated items with a very low price or
sells them as attachments with other commodities. In
one way, we can earn a little profit form it or a
least we won't lose too much money; in the other way,
it is a good opportunity to promote our company.
3. The purpose is to get the payment after the
customer reads the letter. The tone must be soft
because it might not be the customer's fault. First
we need to explain why we send this letter to her/him.
Then we ask few questions like did s/he pay the bill
already or did s/he get the bills before, etc. to make
sure that the procedure went right. Then we ask for
the unpaid payment.
5. My purpose to understand the reasons for the late
shipment and to check how my supplier is going to deal
with it. I will tell my supplier why I made this
phone call. If there are some inevitable things came
up like accidents. We can work together to figure out
a good way to solve the problem. After all, we may
have the chances to work together in the future.

Exploring the Web in Your Own
I have to say that this website is really useful to
all of us. It not only tells us the tips but also
give us some exercises to practice. We can see some
reader's responses for the tip topics. I found three
ideas of positive expressions in the website. First
one is 'Put more action into your sentences by using
active voice rather than passive voice verbs.' Juts
like what professor told us in the class. We do
sometimes use passive voice for we use it a lot in our
mother tongue. It takes time for us to be aware of it
when every time we write so that's why we need to do
the proofreading. To make the sentences easier to
read because the website says that 'Passive voice
verbs are generally longer in length and don't get to
the point as quickly.' For example, "The decision
was made by the boss that …." We could rewrite it
into "The boss decides to …." The latter is more
clearly. Second one is "Be assertive in your
writing." It you are writing a business proposal,
you must be very positive and forthright to what you
are to propose. Try to avoid some word such "I
think" or "in my understanding," or being not
straightforward. The readers may become distrust.
Last one is "Accentuate the positive." This one is
important. Using the positive words instead of
negative words will be easier to convince the readers.
For example, "The ship will arrive tomorrow"
instead of "The ship won't arrive until tomorrow."
It is more optimistic. We should show the bright side
to our readers to make them think positively.

Homework 4 from Sofla

Howmwork 4 Name: Sofla
Specific Purpose
2. A blog posting (on your external website) to customers and the news media about your company's plans to acquire a competitor
The Specific Goal:
The specific goal is crystal: buy our products, because we are the best! The company shows its confidence by calling for a competitor, hoping its consumers will be impressed and then buy its products when they need it.
Evaluation (according to 54 p.):
(1) Some customers may be impressed, but some customers may question the credibility of the company. There are so many advertisements boast around today.
(2) Even though its consumers do not buy its product at the moment, the advertisement will leave an impression in the customer's mind.
(3) The customers listen to the blog posting when they are free.
(4) In my pinion, the company will agree with a successful advertisement.
4. An e-mail message to employees about the office's high water bills
The Specific Goal:
Here are tow goals: to cut down the water bills in the office and to mind the employees to use water efficiently
Evaluation:
(1) After employees aware of the high water bills, they have a great chance of using water more efficiently.
(2) If the e-mail provides some useful tips about how to save water, the message will be more realistic.
(3) Using e-mail does not have to take timing into account.
(4) A company always welcomes the money-saving policy.
6. A podcast to new users of the company's online content management system
The Specific Goal: to establish intimacy relationship with customer
The company wants to establish intimacy relationship with customer and to increase the potential of continuing the contract.
Evaluation:
(1) The users will utilize the company's website more efficiently and leave a good impression of the company.
(2) This purpose is realistic, since the website merits its users.
(3) The new users listen to the podcast when they like.
Exploring the Web on Your Own
Bull's Eye Business Writing Tips, www.businesswritingtips.com
Positive Expression:
The Expression in Bull's Eye Business: Research shows that it takes the mind longer to understand a negative statement than the same ideas stated positively. For example: A reader can grasp: "The plan succeeded more quickly." rather than "The plan did not fail."
In business community, the easiest way to convey the message is more popular. People understand the positive expressions more efficiently than negative expressions. The positive expression is time-saving, reader-benefited and economic.
Three Examples:
(1) We cannot sit by and do nothing.
Positive expression: We can do something.
(2) Jake is not unaware of the facts.
Positive expression: Jake knows the facts.
(3) The material you ordered can't be shipped until July 2.
Positive expression: The material you ordered will be shipped on July 2.
I tried hard to explain "positive expression", and then I found the expression in this website is clearer than Bull's: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/654/01/

Homework4 calvin

Specific Purpose (P.68)

1.      I would like to inform you of the outdated items in the warehouse, how it happened, how can we dispose them off efficiently and how can we avoid such problems in the future.

2.      I would like to let you know of a three-month outstanding payment that might have slipped your attention and we hope it can be cleared soon to ensure a steadfast relationship between us.

3.      I would like to inquire about an overdue shipment of several parts, (Invoice no.521069) which I placed four months back on June 16^th, 2007.

 

Exploring the Web on Your Own (www.businesswritingtips.com)

The "You view" concept in writing is to engage the reader to the writing; hence, the writing should always be focused on the reader, their perspectives and needs. Here are tips from www.businesswritingtips.com which I feel should be kept in mind:

1.      Make your writing user-friendly. Using bullets, numbering and short paragraphs to group information makes it easy for the reader to grasp the main points.

2.      Make your reader feel engaged. For example, don't write "Our sales seminar will cover three important tools for contacting customers." Instead, engage your reader with "In this sales seminar, you'll gain four important techniques that will help you to successfully contact customers."

3.      Avoid words that put your reader on the defensive such as, "you claim, you allege, you neglected, I insist, I cannot permit, I cannot believe" etc, as they are words that can immediately ignite disagreement and hostility.

4.      Select the correct tone of your correspondence by changing the "person." For example, if you want to sound authoritative, use the first person; if you want to sound familiar to your reader, use the second person. If you want to sound objective, use the third person.

Example:

            Authoritative: We are implementing this new change in policy.

            Familiar: You have asked us about this new policy change.

            Objective: Management has decided to implement a new change in policy.

5.      Be specific and use terms your reader can picture such as active or power verbs, or you may lose your reader's attention. Example, instead of saying, "Adverse weather conditions will not result in structural degradation," a simpler, "The roof won't leak if it rains," gives a much clearer picture.

6.      Avoid he/she to represent the universal person as people are increasingly becoming sexism conscious. (See footnote for "how to avoid he/she syndrome")

7.      Recommend actions rather than refer to individual mental states as it may sound presumptive and authoritative on your part. For example, use: "We recommend", "We suggest" instead of, "We believe you should", or "We think", or "We imagine", etc.

In all, simple tips like these that focus on the reader can eventually make our writing more effective and serve our purpose of writing.

 

Note:

Suggestions for avoiding the he/she syndrome by Professor Ellene S. Phufas: 

(Also from www.businesswritingtips.com)

1.      Delete the pronoun reference altogether, e.g., "Every manager should read the memoranda as soon as they are delivered to him [delete to him] by a mail clerk."

2.      Change the pronoun to an article, such as 'a' or 'the'. E.g.: "An author may adopt any of the following dictionaries in preparing his [a] manuscript."

3.      Pluralize, so that 'he' becomes 'they'. E.g.: "A student should avoid engaging in any activities that might bring discredit to his school."

(Rewrite: Students should avoid engaging in any activities that might bring discredit to their school.)

4.      Use the relative pronoun 'who', especially when the generic 'he' follows an 'if'. E.g.: "If a student cannot use standard English, he cannot be expected to master the nuances of the literature assigned in this course."

(Rewrite: A student who cannot use standard English cannot be expected to master the nuances of the literature assigned in this course.)

5.      Repeat the noun instead of using a pronoun, especially when the two are separated by several words. E.g.: "When considering a manuscript for publication, the editor should evaluate the suitability of both the subject matter and the writing style. In particular, he [rewrite 'the editor']...."

 

--- 本郵件來自HiNet WebMail ---

homework 49482055 Valentina

Specific Purpose

1. Mr. Hsiao, pleas be aware that there are some outdated items in the warehouse. Should we dispose them or sell them by auction?

3. Dear Sirs, We would like to inform you that your remittance hasn't been confirmed. Would you please check once again if there is any problem so that we can make something for you. Thank you.

5. Dear Mr. Hsiao, I'm calling for the shipment of the products. My products should have arrived last Friday but it is Sunday already. Will you please check it again? Thank you.

Exploring the Web on Your Own

This web teaches us many useful and practical skills in business letter writing about "you benefit" and "positive expression". For example, the first one is about" you benefit". It tells us to make it easy for my email readers to respond with a "yes/no" answer or short response. And the example is that use "Should we adopt Harry's proposal?" instead of "Let me know what your thoughts are on Harry's proposal." because with the first question, my reader only need to answer "yes" or "no" rather than writing long sentences. The second one is "accentuate the positive." It tells us that research shows that it takes the mind longer to understand a negative statement than the same ideas stated positively. Here is the example it mentioned. We should use "The plan succeeded more quickly." this sentence rather than "The plan did not fail." The third one is that we should be assertive. In other words, avoid using words such as "it is my understanding"," possibly"," perhaps," or " could."

Homework4 Anne

Homework Anne
Specific purpose
2. I welcome other people to visit the blog ant in order to challenge my company. People who visit the blog might be confident so they probably would give my company some advices or compete with our company. In addition, it might be a way of promotion. My company might be a whole new one. Thus, I use the blog to promote my company and make it known to everyone.
4. The purpose of the message is to tell each employee that the company gets high water bills. The company would like to know the reason why the water bill is so high. Is there any problem with the water device? Or, is it because the employees use too much water?
6. The purpose is to inform those new users that they can express their ideas or opinions to the company by the online content management system. The company will take their comment seriously and respond as quickly as possible to fulfill the new users' needs.
www.businesswritingtips.com

There are lots of explanations of "you" view. I would like to choose three to talk about. To begin with, writers can use "magic words" to entice their readers into their copy. I am extremely curious to know what those "magic words" are. And I found that in the list of "magic words," "free information…" and "download online…" would catch readers' attention more successfully. Most people feel delighted when they can get anything for free. Therefore, with the use of the "magic words," readers can easily reach the information. Second, make your writing reader-friendly. Since business people are busy, they do not have much time to read the document. It is important that writers should make their writings easy to read. According to the website, use lots of white space, bullets, and short paragraphs to chunk information. In this way, business people would be likely to read the document and understand the main point in a
short time. The last one is to plan before you write. I consider it to the most crucial one. Prior to writing, writers should know who the reader is, the purpose of writing, and so on. If the writers are aware of these reader-oriented tips, readers would feel at ease to understand what writers say.

Homework 4 Clair

Homework 4 49482021 Clair Lin

1)      Specific Purpose

1. I would like to notify the store manager that there are outdated items in the warehouse, and additionally ask how to close out these outdated items or obtain the permission to dispose them.

3. I want to remind the customer the importance and advantage of making the payment quickly, or our company will take legal action to solve this problem.

5. My purpose is to inform the supplier that the shipment is overdue and inquire about the condition of the shipment; if necessary, I will press the supplier to hurry so that we can still have opportunity to cooperate in the future.

2)      Exploring the Web on Your Own

The tips in this website are not only useful but helpful, and I find both "you" view and positive expression in these tips, such as being assertive in writing, putting more action into sentences, and making writing reader-friendly.   First, the tone of our writing must be assertive; otherwise readers will become mistrustful when our writing lacks forthrightness.  For instance, we have to avoid using words like "perhaps" or "possibly", so readers can understand our meaning without doubt.   Being assertive in writing helps readers correctly interpret our message.  Second, it will be better for us to use active voice verbs rather than passive voice verbs.  Passive voice verbs cannot quickly get to the point because they are almost longer in length; it will be time-costing for readers to get the point.  For example, the active voice sentence "Our staff recommends this tool" is more vivid than the passive voice sentence "this tool is recommended by our staff".  Thus, using active voice verbs can not only put more action but also help readers quickly get to the point.   Last, it is important to make writing reader-friendly since all our writings are audience centered.  Both using short paragraphs to give information and choosing clear, familiar words can help readers read our writing.   For instance, we can use "because" rather than "in view of the fact that" to help reader quickly catch our meaning.  This website still has many other useful writing tips and grammatical explanation, and I believe these tips can help us improve our writing.

Homework 4 Sandy

49482037 Sandy

I. Specific Purpose

1. Please aware the problem of the outdated items in the warehouse and that you may need to take action to sell these items in exchange for money. The money will be a investment fund for our company.

3. We hope you could submit your three-month-payment before the end of this weekend. If you do not handle it before our deadline, some of your rights will be canceled.

5. We are calling here to check on your shipment of supplies. The products should have been arrived. And we want to know if there was any problem during the delivery. Please reply us as soon as possible. We hope we can still keep good relationship in the future.

II. Exploring the Web on Your Own

The first example I found of either "you" view or positive expressions was "Put more action into your sentences by using active voice rather than passive voice verbs." Passive voice verbs are generally longer in length and do not get to the point as quickly. While communicating, it is important to make people understand what you are saying, especially in business meetings. That is also why we seldom see passive voice verbs in business letters or daily communications. People should avoid using passive voice verbs.
Next comes "Win approval with proposals." Guidelines were as well provided: Ask for what you want immediately, follow your request with supporting reasons and details, be specific and describe outcomes that can be measured, and avoid lengthy proposals. When we bring up some suggestions, our educations teach us to be as humble as we could. However, in business field, people put emphasis on simplicity and efficiency. We have to speak to the point immediately; otherwise, people are easily to get confused.
The last example was "Be specific and use terms your readers can picture." This is one of the problems that students make in composition writing. We want to show how we do well in vocabulary learning, so we use the terms like "expedite, utilization, or impediment." It is not respectful in business area. Audience has to think for a while so one can understand what you are saying. Short, concrete words are easier for readers to visualize.

HOMEWORK 4

Homework 4 49482004江則潔

Specific Purpose

2. I have to let them know and understand the details about my company's plan and show them our confidence. In addition to getting the message I hope they can approve and support our plan.

4. I mail this e-mail to show my anxiety about the water bill. And my purpose of telling every one this message is that I hope every one can use the water economically. I hope everyone who read my message will take it seriously so I have to tell them if they don't care about it what bad consequences will happen on them.

6. I have to let those new users understand the company's joy for their participation. Then ensure them our good quality and the benefit they will get from us so that they will continue using the system and posting their new ideas and information.

Exploring the Web on Your Own

"You" view is to center your reader, focus on what they will want to know and what they need. Because when they read a business message, they need to see what's in it for them. The Business Writing Tips website gives me many tips for business writing. And there are some tips telling about how to write for your reader. First, you have to practice being specific and use terms your reader can picture when you are describing someone or something. That is, you have to avoid vague expression. For example, when writing "He is associated in various teaching capacities with several local educational institutions," revising it as "He teaches copyediting at Florida State University and technical writing at the University of Georgia," will be much clearer. Second, you have to select a proper pronoun which can make you focus on your reader. For example, don't write "Our sales seminar will cover three important tools for contacting customers." Instead, focus on your readers with "In this sales seminar, you'll gain four important techniques that will help you to successfully contact customers." Third, you have to make your writing reader-friendly because business people are busy. So, make your document easy on the eye. Use lots of white space, bullets, and short paragraphs to chunk information. If you must write a long proposal or report, use headings to break the text into meaningful segments.

Homework4 Emily

Homework4 49482010 Emily

1.Specific purpose

2. A specific purpose is to show our company's ambition to everyone. Viewers can tell our tendency to strengthen the company by mergering other company.

4. A specific purpose is to let employees know the exact cost of water used in office and make them know it is time to reduce the usage of water.

6. A specific purpose is to express appreciation of our company to new users and remind them some of important rules about using our online content magement system.

2.www.businesswritingtips.com

I found out three examples of "you" view among hundreds of tips on this website. The first one, to make sentences more readable for readers, in e-mails people should write no more than 6 lines and limit sentences to 20 words. For we have to think about that readers may have no much time or may be tired when reading the e-mail. Long sentences and long paragraphs will exhaust them at last. When readers are tired, they won't get the message effictively. So, to remain their patience, short sentences make it easier to finish reading the e-mail. The second one, sometimes readers do not understand the message in a e-mail clearly because of a number of vague words used in it. When the message is not clear, it can confuse readers. Then, it takes time to guess or to figure out. It becomes inconvenient for readers. Take following one for example. "I think Cathy will not take John's coldness," expresses a vague idea. A better one, " I think Cathy will not stand John's coldness, " gives a clear idea. Therefore, being thoughtful of readers by avoiding any vague words used in the e-mail is important. The third one is, give readers an idea of what they will learn by reading on in the first paragraph. It is to catch readers' attention at first and to help them quickly get into the topic. Also, it can simply focus readers' attention. If they are familiar with topic in the e-amil, it is better to give just a brief opening rather than a full introduction. Be short and coming stright to the point is important. From this website, I learn many methods to express clearly and tips to make communication effectively between senders and receivers. I think they are really useful for sure.